Thursday, January 14, 2010

News flash: It's HOT in there!!

I'm just gonna say something for the record here.

I say this as someone who has practiced off and on for the last 5 years, mostly "on" since 2007.  As someone who laughs in the face of 100+ day challenges, because I've lost track of how many challenges I've done.  As someone who has, repeatedly, taken classes led by Bikram, in really hot rooms, with upwards of 300 bodies in attendance.  As someone who does back-to-back classes with a devil-may-care casual attitude, views this behavior as perfectly normal, and occasionally says, "sure, why not a third one?"  With all that said...

Did you guys know that these yoga rooms get REALLY FREAKING HOT?!?!?

I want to say this for posterity here, because more often than not I am that girl.  You know who I mean.  The girl who wanders out into the hallway after class, feeling lovely and refreshed, and asks in total innocence, "Wait, really?  It was hot today?" as all the other students and instructors lie around gasping and trying to regain control of their various bodily functions.  I've gotten some nice death glares in my time.  When the teachers who I considered to be crazy heat freaks started accusing me of being insane, I knew I'd really been doing this stuff for a while.  It just kinda comes with the territory, right?  You practice a lot, and your body acclimates.  The room gets comfortable.  Pleasantly warm.  It feels great to sweat.  You're not even thirsty.  If the door opens you think, "hm, I'm not too crazy about that draft," but you don't get upset about it either way.  There's no problem.

Some of the time.

And then... it kicks your ASS.

Our little studio was pretty near capacity this evening - maybe 45 people?  That's a whole extra row.  (An average evening class in December had maybe 25-30 students, and only two rows.)  I was practicing in the last row, just for a change of scenery, which put me pretty close to the back door, so I figured I was in for a nice juicy practice, with a nice cool draft coming in periodically to keep things under control.  Standing series went great.  Hot and great.  Then, for some reason, when we got to the floor... it just felt HOT.  Hot, hot, hot.  Or rather, humid, which we all know makes it feel a lot hotter.

And at this point, I know that it's okay, it's not going to hurt me and there's nothing I can do about it anyway.  But also: HOT!  So I had this fantastic internal dialogue going back and forth between the calm, collected yogic side of me and the pissed off, uncomfortable, my-face-is-burning-off side of me.  (Warning - I like to cuss.  I read an article that said cursing makes things hurt less, so you should just let it rip.)  So things in my head went a little bit like this:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS ROOM IS HOT TODAY

ok, sweetie, that's fine.  that's how it's supposed to be.  don't worry about it, just let it out.  this is good practice.  what do you feel right now?

I FEEL REALLY FUCKIN' HOT

ok, go ahead, that's fine, just say what you need to say and then we'll be done with it and move on

OK I NEED TO SAY, HOLY FUCK IT IS HOT IN HERE, AND I WISH THIS TEACHER WOULD OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR

yup, that's fine.  this teacher is our friend, remember?  she is awesome.  she is doing a great job, this is a really good class tonight, great energy, i love this.

SHE KEEPS WALKING TO THE BACK LIKE SHE'S GOING TO OPEN THE DOOR AND THEN NOT OPENING THE DOOR AT ALL, THAT SUCKS

yup, hey look!  we're in savasana!  this is a nice chance to relax and be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  breathe in cool, breathe out hot.  all that oxygen coming into our body is so nice and refreshing!

HERE SHE COMES AGAIN AND THE DOOR IS STILL CLOSED.  FUCKING BITCH!!

oooh, here comes half tortoise, this is such a nice posture for getting some relaxation and lowering the heart rate and cooling things down.  this will be nice.

FUCK TURTLES.

And sometimes... that's just how it goes.  I was calm and collected on the outside, laughing and bitching on the inside.  The whole thing was hilarious to me.  Just gotta go with it!  It really was a good class.  But just remember - none of us is immune.  Sometimes I love this yoga because it feels so good in my body.  Other times, I love it because it kicks.  My.  Ass.  And then it feels good when it's done!  Actually, I remember hearing a fantastic comment about Bikram yoga once: it teaches you the joy of instant gratification, because you feel SO much better the instant the class (or posture) is over!!  It's just a new adventure every time...

26 comments:

hannahjustbreathe said...

FUCK TURTLES.

Umm, best blog line ever.

Danielle said...

Oh my god, I am laughing my ASS OFF!! FUCK TURTLES. Hy-fucking-sterical!

Big G said...

I love the conversations we have with ourselves in class. Especially when they're this funny, and they involve turtles! LMFAO.

tracik said...

Hahahaha...Oh good GOD! I am laughing so hard right now. Seriously at my desk and tears coming from my eyes. Sounds just like me. I'm always that girl: It's not hot enough, please DON'T open the doors, NO...Not the fans, Make it HOTTER. People at the studio think I'm crazy! But every once in awhile you have that class. Your face looks like a beet and you are having a fight in your head. THANKS for the laughs! (still laughing...)

Cat said...

Hahahaha!! you just posted what we all think;)

lz said...

This narration just made my day. LOVE your recap of your mental dialogue. "FUCK TURTLES" is definitely a winner.

Tarts and Tattoos said...

LOLOLOLOL I have to agree "FUCK TURTLES" is the best thing I've ever heard.

Kathy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
thedancingj said...

HA! I'm glad you guys are SO entertained. Now I'm afraid that everyone is going to end up with a fit of the giggles the next time they do this posture...

Catherine said...

hmmm, that FUCK TURTLES line reminded me of a very similar though we shared frequently in college:

FUCK MIT.

I had a few flashbacks reading your internal dialog.

Rebekah said...

Haha...Love! I have really managed to quiet that dialogue, but when I started 7 mos ago it was every posture, every class. One of my most beloved teachers is THE WORST at walking over to the fan switch and not touching it. I've come to terms with it (most of the time!) but it's funny to hear the newcomers occasionally groan when they realize she's not turning it on. That being said, when it's really, really humid it's a good thing looks can't kill!

Yolk E said...

OMG, Rebekah! Your teacher is a sadist! I love it.

Yeah, I echo the previous comments--really, really funny. And I love the fuckin' cursing. It's just what happens sometimes.

Johan said...

So true, so true. Hilarious internal dialogue, I think we've all been there. And I agree I wouldn't have it any other way. Some days we just need that little kick to appreciate the good days.

tara said...

I am 18 classes into my first 60 day challenge. I did a double for the first time ever today. Between classes, I had time to come home and read a few blogs. Yours was one of them.

During tonight's class, when I was exhausted and getting ready to hit a major wall, half tortoise came along. I instantly thought FUCK TURTLES, and managed, somehow, not to start giggling. But it did help me make it through the rest of class! Hilarious!

YogaSkier said...

I'm definitely going to be giggling in class tomorrow. Thanks for the laugh...

Duffy Pratt said...

If you ever decide to change the name of your blog, I think we have a clear winner...

Mei said...

BUAHAHAHAHA FUCK TURTLES.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

*sniggers to self

oh honey I MISS YOU. Remember driving up and down San Fran?


Yes, I know that look, gotten quite a few in my month-long career [still trying to get used to it tho!!!]

And for posterity - FUCK TURTLES.

Johan said...

In today's class the teacher thought it was time to introduce some humour into our practice, so he asked us all to think of a humours thing. I immediately had an internal 'FUCK TURTLES'. I'm just glad I managed to keep from saying it out loud. Alas it was in standing bow but it worked wonders anyway.

thedancingj said...

You guys' comments kinda make my day. :)

Cat - that's right! IHTFP forever.

Mei - how could I forget?! I wish you weren't so far away now!!

FUCK TURTLES in standing bow pose... what a thought. I'll have to try that.

"It's turtles, turtles, turtles all the way down."

Dorothy said...

HOLY FUCK!! This is hilare. Truly.

Mei said...

OMG 3EB CAME ON THE RADIO YESTERDAY AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF U!

buahahaha

bikramyogachick said...

Oh damn, somehow I missed this post, I was sick the day you wrote it.
Fuck Turtles.
**snarf, snigger, chortle**
This post was awesome!

thedancingj said...

BYC - I think that might be one of the funniest comments I've ever gotten. "Sorry I missed your blog, I was sick..." Yeah, you are such a slacker!! ;-)

SM said...

I know so many have commented on the Fuck Turtles line already - but I have to say it is pure genius.
I am afraid I may be doing some googling in class today.
I want it made on a t-shirt.
You are awesome.

sm said...

sorry, I meant giggling not googling.
oopsy.

thedancingj said...

thanks, SM!! if you (or anyone else!) want to make a t-shirt, please be my guest... I am not so artistically inclined, but I think it should have a disgruntled looking sweaty yogi setting up for half tortoise on it. hee! that idea makes ME laugh. ;-)