Now I understand why so many teacher training blogs only go up to week five!!
There's just no describing it. This last week was busy, fun, tough, stressful, tense, relaxed, everything. There were postures clinics where everyone was stressed out and pissed off, and then there were postures clinics where one after another, we got up there and NAILED it, and NAILED it, and NAILED it. It's different from hour to hour. Some hours are kind of lame and pointless, and some hours are absolutely transcendent. Just like in class, we go from maximum effort to maximum relaxation in half a second. Yesterday's evening posture clinic was phenomenal - the breakthroughs are coming strong and fast. Sometimes I just sit there with my mouth hanging open or with a big stupid grin on my face. I can't believe how GOOD we are getting at this dialogue stuff!
I'm just rereading my notebook right now, and it's amazing to read Monday's entry, because that day feels like it was a year ago. Really. I was TIRED by the end of this week. By Friday, the hardest posture in class was savasana (dead body pose, lying on the floor) because my eyes started to close every time I lay down on the floor! I actually fell asleep, had a DREAM, and woke up during the 2-minute savasana in one of the classes. It was just a quick dream, where I was standing outside the lecture tent, in the parking lot, at night, looking at the moon. Then I woke up and was lying under the bright lights in the yoga tent. WEIRD!
Posture clinic round-up: This week I did Wind Removing, Cobra (for Diane!), Locust, and Full Locust. We didn't have posture clinic every day, because we had some lectures with Bikram and we had the fascia guy all day on Thursday. Don't get me started on him. I'm feeling great in posture clinics. At some point in the last week or so, I've stopped thinking about how the dialogue sounds to the "audience" - instead, I am only thinking about how it sounds to the students. And I'm not just thinking about "how does it sound?" - I'm thinking about "how do I COMPEL them to follow my words?" I'm thinking about TEACHING. What a concept, right?
Classes: Despite being pretty tired all the time, my practice is starting to resemble my "normal" practice again. For the first few weeks, it wasn't even CLOSE to normal. Rajashree told us at the beginning that the flexible people would get stiffer but stronger. I got stiffer RIGHT away, which has been hilarious, but I am finally starting to feel STRONG... AND I'm getting some range of motion back. Of course, there's still plenty of time for all of that to fly out the window in the next 3 weeks!
Myself: I am just happy all the time. I can't believe 6 weeks are gone and only 3 are left.
A few things from the first week have really stayed in my mind. One is Jim Kallet's orientation lecture, when he told us that these 9 weeks just get us to the starting line, and then the real journey starts. I like that, because it makes me feel less sad about the end of training. (Though I will still be heartbroken when this time is over!) The other is something that Bikram said in HIS first lecture: he told us that these 9 weeks will be Bikram Yoga torture chamber.... OR... heaven. "Pick your choice." I made my choice before I even got here, and it's served me well. I've been happy this whole time. Tired and sore, but totally happy.
Some favorite Bikram-isms:
"I smell so good. There is no man in whole world who smells like me."
"Close your legs, save it for the right time. Don't go opening your legs here and there."
"... I forgot my dialogue!! JUST KILL YOURSELF!! Push you knees back, lock the knees... *cracks up laughing* "
"This song is a country western. But try not to dance, just relax." *plays track 10 from Bikram Love during final savasana*
"Your smile is like a million donkeys farting at the same time."
"Is it 'fuck the shut up' or 'shut the fuck up'? I never remember..."
And because a picture is worth more than a thousand words, here is a picture of my posture clinic group that we took after this morning's class. I can't look at this without laughing... it just says it all. I think we have collectively lost our minds. (We replaced them with dialogue, though. Eventually in the future! Come up halfway ONLY until ONLY your belly button is touching the floor!! Yeah!!)
(Just click on the image to see the full thing)